Monday, 30 January 2012

PsiMe # 38

I'm back in the city street. Gah! My head! Memories flooding my head again, everything I've been through all the mes... A voice... from far away... "are you ready?" I am ready. "Then step through the door," A door has appeared before me. A door out of the city. I won't go. I won't doom the universe to the same hell you put me through. The door is opening. I can see my parents in their bed. It is trying to tempt me but I will not falter. I have been gone for a month in real time at least. I am dead to them and if I go through I will merely bring them suffering.

The image in the door changes it is now an image of her still alive in her own universe. I could be with her before she died. No. Time is fixed. If I go to her now some day she will be brought into the city and still die. You can not tempt me city all you can offer me is suffering. A statue appears of the frozen boy. The threat is clear, but I don't fear him any more. I have power now. I could have beaten him then and I can beat him now. You know I can.

The City is trying to force me through the door. A pillar has attempted to knock me inside I stopped it with my hand. The room shrinks in size until it is just the door and me and then begins shrinking further. I stop it with my mind. We are now in a room that looks like my house. I brought us here.

The city creates monsters I turn them to dust. The shadows... no The Nightlanders and The Rake arrive I create a door. The Nightlanders break and flee The City. The Rake advances. I force it through the door as well and seal them outside. The City is angry now. I can feel its rage. A door opens beneath me, but I remove gravity. The ceiling forces me down, but there is no ceiling. I am a god here now. You have created your demise.

You can't stop me. You can't force me to follow your plan. No, that is correct. I cannot truly harm you either. I can still inconvenience you. Those you trap within yourself will no longer be powerless against you. I shall be their guardian and you shall never feed again. I summon the PsiMe before me. It no longer serves a purpose. Goodbye.

User has disconnected

Username: Test Subject # 33Alpha S9
Password: MORTAL GOD

Signing off...

Sunday, 29 January 2012

PsiMe # 37

I am back on the disc. All the lights are on and the buttons are gone. What happens now? The disc just sunk slightly into the ground. I have a sinking feeling that I'm going to be falling again soon. Oh, hey I was wrong it's an elevator. Where am I going? This is a really long elevator ride. One hour... Two hours... Three hours... JESUS CHRIST THIS IS LONG! Oh wow. O.K. the elevator has stopped and I am in a room. I am trying to think of how to describe the size of this place but, well... big is just a word. It's held up by a giant pillar seemingly made out of computers. There's a keyboard at the bottom and an indent. I wonder if maybe-

Yes! That weird object I took from my dead self fits perfectly in the indent. There's a screen lighting up now. It's his blog. Of course he had the PsiMe as well. The last post reads: "I hope you can read Japanese, but if not then this message will not be much help," Well thanks a lot. Wait! I think this is a translation of the message on the wall!

"I know what's going on. I am... Was capable of seeing the future and I saw what awaited us. This test. The Empty City is trying to create a key. It's trying to make us a key. We are special I'm not sure why, but somehow we, as in all of us, are connected to The City. It is part of us. We can, given the right prompting, Exert our own will on the city equivalent to the control it has over itself. It intends to use this. If you pass the test it will send you back to your world and it will use you to bring itself through. The entire universe will become an extension of the city and everyone will be a victim. I chose to die rather than let this happen and left a message for all those who follow. As I'm sure most of you were smart enough to grab the laptop the first time you found it so you can keep track of the PsiMe (Oops) you should be able to translate it. If not I am leaving my handheld computer. You won't be able to use it without the right implants but you should be able to find a computer to activate it and read this. Hopefully you will not read this message too late."

Well... Um... Damn. I hope I'm not reading this too late either. There's a door here with the symbol of a large maze on it and the words "Final Evaluation." I guess this is it.

Saturday, 28 January 2012

PsiMe # 36

I'm back on the disc. I failed. I failed my mother. I had him. I could have- But, I didn't. I faltered. I let him beat me. I had power there just for a second. The power of The Empty City. The power to bend reality to my will. The power of a god. I could have destroyed him, but still I lost and now the power is gone and I'm mute again.

There's only one more button. The Doctor. The shattering sound was louder this time and I seem to be in a hospital hallway again. There's a different smell this time though. The smell of decay. Oh jesus! What the fuck!? Phew... That caught me by surprise. I turned into a room and found my self face to face with what I thought was a face with a disturbing beak like protuberance but it seems to just be a mask hanging on a hook. Like one of those old doctors from the plague era.

I wonder how I'm supposed to get out of here? Hmm This place is like a maze. Doesn't seem to be anything here though. At least nothing dangerous. Huh? What the hell? It's that mask again. Except it's not on a hook... It's on a face... Run? Yeah that's probably a good idea. Running now. Where the hell is the exit? Why do the exits always have to be so hard to find!? Oh god I feel nauseous. I can't breathe. There's something in the air. A neon sign? Vision is blurry. I think it says Emergency exit. I hope I'm right. Oh god I can't run anymore. I feel weak... Crawl! The exit is just ahead...

Friday, 27 January 2012

PsiMe # 35

I'm back on the disc again. The Madman and The Engineer buttons are gone and I can now see there are two lights in the ceiling. I choose The Wizard this time. The now familiar flinging motion and the shattering sound occur and I'm in a room made of stone. It seems like the inside of a tower. There are no doors here but there are holes that lead out onto a stone pathway. It's a castle wall. The only remotely door like thing anywhere near here would be the gate. Please tell me I don't have to pass through the gate. I heard something on the wind. It sounds like... Singing.

"We lay my love and I beneath the weeping willow.
But now alone I lie and weep beside the tree.

Singing "Oh willow waly" by the tree that weeps with me.
Singing "Oh willow waly" till my lover return to me.

We lay my love and I beneath the weeping willow.
A broken heart have I. Oh willow I die, oh willow I die."

I know that song. That's the song I heard the night my mother died. There's someone behind me. It's a boy. I think. He's made of ice and he's the one singing. I feel like time is slowing down. I can't see his face but I can feel the malicious grin of ages. I feel the glare of his eyes as they bore into my soul, but from within I feel something else. Rage. This is what killed my mother. This is loneliness personified.

The world shakes with my rage and I can feel his grin stiffen. I speak with words. "I am not alone you don't have any power over me." He replies through emotions. I am alone. I have always been alone. Now I am more alone than I have ever been. No matter how many friends I have I will always be alone. I am all alone in an infinite universe. One of a kind. Forever. I tremble. My rage is overtaken by fear and despair. I run.

I can no longer see him as I run along the walls but I can hear his singing growing closer no matter how fast I move. The gate winch is below in the courtyard, but the stairs are too far away. There's no time for caution anymore. I jump from the walls. I land in the courtyard and there is a sharp pain in my leg. He's right in front of me. He's still singing, yet I can also hear laughter. I see the gate winch. I limp over to it and begin turning it. His eyes are on me the entire time. The gate is finally open and I run for it.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

PsiMe # 34

I immediately find myself back on the disc. The Madman button is gone, but the other three are still lit. I choose The Engineer this time and again I am launched forward. Again there's the sound of something shattering. This time I'm in a workshop. There seem to be half finished robotic machines arrayed haphazardly around the room. There's a door. It has an electronic lock and it seems the power is out. There's a generator of some kind in the corner. It has an on/off switch currently set to off. This seems too easy.

I hit the on button and suddenly a klaxon is going off and there are things starting to move all around me! The lights just turned off. O.K. Calmly try and move towards the door. Ignore anything around you. Something just brushed by me. Oh shit the lights are back on and I'm surrounded by terrifying mutilated robotic monstrosities! I'm just going to calmly- OH SHIT RUN! Where the hell is the door? Oh god why are their claws covered in blood!? Door! There's the door! Oh god what the hell is up with the electric chainsaw!? They're trying to keep me away from the door. This is bad. This is very bad! O.K. I picked up a wrench. Let's fucking do this! Charge! Oh god! Die! Die! Die! Door! Open! OPEN! No! DIE! HA HA FREEDOM!

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

PsiMe # 33

The disc has stopped spinning. I still can't move. Something is rumbling. I get the feeling this was a bad choice. Oh god I'm being launched at the wall! Door opening! I passed through and there was a sound like something shattered. Hope it wasn't me. O.K. taking stock. The shattering sound was not apparently any of my bones. I'm in a padded room. I'm sure at least someone reading this will make the joke that I probably belong in one, but regardless. There's another body here in a straight jacket. Also more writing on the walls. This time it's in English.

"The cold one roams the parapets"


"The shadows have no caster"

"The god can die"

They're all pretty random and the last one is written in bright red letters. I don't know how they were written since it's not blood and I don't see anything to write with here. Hey there's a key around the corpse's neck. Gah! It's not a corpse! Ah! He bit my hand! Woah that's a creepy grin. Oh shit! He's coming towards me. I need that key, but first I need to stop him from killing me! I need to grab something to use as a weapon, but there's nothing in here?! Fuck it... Tackled! Take this and this and some of these! I think he's unconscious? I'm not waiting for him to wake up. Grabbing the key from him and getting the hell out of here.

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

PsiMe # 32

I... No... Stop... I can't... Ugh... How did I forget? Did it make me forget? Why would it allow me to be reminded? Was tormenting me like that just too good an opportunity to pass up? Is it so sadistic that it would drop an entire plan just to hurt me further? They call it The City. They say it's all around me. It's this place I'm trapped in. Can it truly be alive? They say they're testing me. What are they testing? Who are they? There are so many questions and I have yet to answer any of them. Where am I? The walls are spinning.

No wait I'm spinning. I'm on a revolving disc. There are 4 buttons set up around the disc each one in front of one of the walls. The walls have a faded imprint of a door in them directly in front of the buttons.  I can't move anything, but my hand. I suppose I have to press one of the buttons and that will open one of the doors. Seems simple enough. There's some writing on the buttons. The Engineer, The Wizard, The Doctor and The Madman. I guess I choose The Madman...

Monday, 23 January 2012

PsiMe # 31

Oh god that smell! I'm in what looks like a hospital hallway. I've never liked hospitals. Not for the same reasons as other people though. I have no problem with the sickness or the depression or the ever present atmosphere of death. It's the smell. I absolutely hate that smell. It makes my eyes water. The hallway is a little weird. The doors don't have doorknobs from what I can see and they seem to be made out of solid metal. I'm not sure what kind of metal, but they look like they could survive a rocket fired at close range without a scratch.

A door just opened up ahead. I hear voices. I can't make them out. The door slammed when I got near. I almost jumped out of my skin. More doors are opening. More unintelligible whispers. No matter what I do the whispers are just loud enough to hear, but just quiet enough they can't be made out. It's infuriating. The doors also tend to slam whenever I get close and I mean close. They always slam when they are mere seconds from slamming on my fingers or in my face. I've stopped going towards them, but that just makes the whispering worse. It's driving me nuts.

The whispers contain the secret to everything, anything! All I could ever possibly want and need to know and I can't hear them! I need to get out of here before I go mad but none of these doors have handles! There's no way out of this endless hallway! I'm Running! The voices are screeching in my ears! Doors are opening and slamming all around me! The smell! The bright white hallway stretching forever!
A door opened as I reached it. There's more whispers, but I can understand them. They're saying my name. The door is right next to me. The voices are right in my ear, but I don't want to look I don't know why. Pain, sadness, and death await me if I look.

The whispers they're a voice now a voice I recognize. I don't know why I recognize the voice or why I suddenly feel so cold. I turn. It's a girl. No! It's her! I remember her now! I want to run to her, but something is wrong. There's a huge hole in her stomach and her guts are spilling out. Her eyes are glazed and unfocused. She's dead. She moves! She reaches for me. I can't move. I don't want to move. Pain! Four deep gashes in my cheek! She cut me. Her hands are normal! How did she cut me? I still can't move. She's reaching again! Run. Run! RUN DAMN IT!

I'm running whatever was holding me there it's gone. I don't know what's going on I'm just running. I can't run anymore. I'm out of breath and my foot is hurting badly. I hear a scraping sound and the whispers have started up again. Where's the scraping sound coming from? Holy shit! Giant slashes appeared in the wall right by my head. Screw the pain running again! The whispers are laughing now! I don't want to die. Especially not like this! Not by her... Open door! It didn't slam! Only chance!

Sunday, 22 January 2012

PsiMe # 30

I'm in a room. There's no way out and I'm not alone. There's a me here. He's dead. He looks about 12. There's writing on all the walls. Written in blood. His blood. Done purposely by the looks of it. Something stabbed him and he wrote a message on the wall in his blood as he died. His final message. It's a shame it's in Japanese and I can't read it. He does have a bag with him. It's filled with some useful stuff. Some food, mostly gummi bears but also some apples. A couple of soda cans. No gingerale? Well now I'm starting to doubt he's really me. There's also a knife in here and something rectangular. It looks like some kind of cellphone or something but it's not like anything I've seen before. It has the same name the PsiMe had. Lavern Tinj inc. I guess this poor guy must be from the future or something. Hey! What if he's not me? What if he's like a relative? Maybe he's like my grandson or something? If so does that mean I survive all this? I shouldn't jump to conclusions. Let's focus on getting out of here.

The walls are all made out of iron and there are no doors. The ceiling is so high that it's obscured by the sheer distance and the floor is iron as well. O.K. so that's it for obvious ways out. Kid doesn't seem to have any inclination to become a portal either. Wait I think I got it. There are spots on the wall. Slightly different colours than the rest of the wall. Damn kid. His last will and testament made it really hard to spot them. Let's see here. Oh shit pressing the wall caused a spear to launch down from the ceiling missing me by an inch. It's now retracting into the ceiling. I guess I know how the kid died. Pressing the buttons brings down spears from heaven. One of them must show the way out I just need to be wary when pressing them. Gah! Not that one! Fuck shit fuck that hurt! Damn spear stabbed me in the heel... Ow ow ow... Kid doesn't have any bandages of course... Well I'm taking your sleeve instead then. Geez I'm really disrespectful to myself and or my grandson aren't I? O.K. I have to keep trying the buttons, but that last one was far too close! They're unpredictable. I only have two more buttons left.

Ha ha ha you missed me you bastard! Last one! I win! No no damn you no! There aren't any more buttons and that one triggered a spear as well! There's no way out of this? No way out! Game over man! Wait! The spears. They retract slowly toward the ceiling maybe I can ride one up to the ceiling? That has to be it. O.K. trigger it and- Grab it! O.K. foothold is cutting into the sole of my foot, but it seems to be working. I wonder how long it'll take to reach the top.

What if the spear just goes into a hole in the ceiling and there's nothing up there? I'll fall to my death. Perhaps this wasn't so well thought out. I can sort of see the ceiling. There's no holes but there are a shit ton of spears up here. More than there were buttons actually. That's weird... O.K. It's as high as it can go. I can't see anything through all these spears though. It's like a forest in my way. I am carefully stepping from spear to spear now. Don't want to misstep. Oh hey I was right! There's a door up here! I just have to get over to it. Alright now opening the do-Fuck! Holy shit! Deep breaths... Just as I grabbed the doorknob all the spears launched at once... I'm hanging from the doorknob now... I don't want to fall. Opening the door very carefully...

Saturday, 21 January 2012

PsiMe # 29

The light feels so good. Warm and friendly... It loves me. I love it. It's going to help me get out of here all I have to do is go to sleep... Night night world... I woke up and I'm alone again. The light is gone but I'm out of the library at least... I seem to be on a boat. Like a medium size boat... There's rushing water all around me... Well no not on the boat I mean the sound of rushing water in every direction... This seems familiar... I know this I know the name of this boat... I know where I am... I'm on the Maid of the Mist at Niagara falls... I also know when I am... My 13th birthday... We went to niagara falls... Me, two friends and my family... That's when my father died... He was standing next to me telling me about the waterfalls when suddenly he began to choke... He doubled over and began coughing and choking. There was blood... The paramedics came but no matter what they did he wouldn't stop choking then he collapsed and he never got back up... The party was cut short and we went back home the next day. My mother never remarried I never saw any of my friends from the party again... I became reclusive and isolated... One night I was in my room on my computer. The internet was my only connection to the world. My release from isolation... That night though I heard a clatter downstairs. I went downstairs and as I descended the steps I heard singing... Someone young was in my living room singing... It terrified me. When I reached the last step I heard my mother scream then all the sounds stopped and the temperature which I hadn't noticed was freezing began warming back up... I didn't need to look into the living room. I knew my mom was dead and I knew why. Not how. I still don't know how but I knew why. Because like me she had isolated herself after my father's death. It was loneliness. Loneliness had killed her and it would kill me too if I remained alone... I was sent to live with my uncle and aunt after and I immediately began making as many friends as I could. I never wanted to be alone and until now I never have been... When I pass this test I'll never have to be alone again... I know this now. That will be my reward. I will never be lonely again. The door to the cabin is different than usual. It's got to be my way out. Always move forward no more looking back.

Friday, 20 January 2012

PsiMe # 28

Oh god I was just eaten by a giant fish! Wait why the hell is there a fish swimming in an ocean of imagination? Better question why was there an ocean of imagination? Better better question how the hell am I back on the city street?! There's someone staring at me... It's not one of the shadowy things or the claw guy... Or the grave digger... I don't think it's me... any of the mes... I want to go to them but I'm scared... this is a trap... It has to be some kind of trap... Fuck it I'm lonely I'm going over there... It's an old man. I'm suddenly in a library and the man is gone... I knew it was a trap... Every single book in this library is written by the same author... Beth Lamnnid. Never heard of her... Weird name. Ok Reading a book called "Of Ascension and the formulization of Deities" Weird title. The book is blank. No wait... Words seem to appear only when I look at another page and disappear when I look back... That sucks I can't actually read any of it... Oh geez that was loud! Well as the booming voice of god has declared that the library is closing now I should probably find my way out... Oh god this place is like a maze... There's just stacks of books everywhere I look. There's no way out! where the hell is the exit?! I'm sure if I don't get out before closing time bad things are going to happen where the hell is the exit?! I'm crying oh god why am I crying. I've been through so much today why is this so much more terrifying than anything else that's happened to me?! I need to get out! Oh god please let me out! No no no the library is not closed! Don't say that I still have time! I must still have time! The lights are going out... It's so dark... So very dark... And lonely... I'm so alone... I hate being alone... I've always hated being alone... I always surround myself with others insert myself into every group because I hate being alone... I've been mostly alone this whole time though so why is it getting to me so much now?! I hate this library. I hate that voice. I hate Beth Lamnnid. I hate the old man. I hate The City. I hate everything in this place... I want to go home... I want to go back to the normal world. Where physics rules and there are no shadow creatures or claw guy and no dead alternate universe me... There's a light... Right up ahead... No books in the light... Nothing in the light... It's empty... Lonely... It needs a friend... I'll be it's friend... I'm stepping into the light...

Thursday, 19 January 2012

PsiMe # 27

I'm suspended in mid-air now... Floating above a vast ocean. The ocean isn't made of water though... It's made of imagination! I wonder if that actually worked...Probably not. Anyways yes. There is an ocean of imagination below me... I don't know how I know that I just know it. Oh and here's the shadow creatures and their pet claw creature. They're standing on the bank of the ocean. GNAGH! My head! No not again! get... get out! You are doing well. Your transition is moving at a speed we have not seen yet. Uhn... You're not going to explain what you mean are you? No now fall. Gah I can't swim in imagination! At least I don't think I can! Ew it doesn't feel like water it feels like swimming in ear wax. Tastes like it too! Trying to swim but it's got the consistency of jello... Sinking! Drowning in imagination... That sounds like some kind of artsy metaphor... On that note I'm not drowning... I seem to be breathing fine... Except every breath fills my mouth with foul tasting crud... Assuming this is as deep as a normal ocean it could take some time to reach the bottom... I wonder what I can do to pass the time... Not that... You know what I'm just going to hum for next little while... Hum... Hum hum hum... Doo da la la la la... Geez this is taking forever... I can't sink any faster... Actually I can't alter my speed or position at all... Ok I'm going to count now... Let's see how high I can get before I hit the ocean floor... Anyone reading this feel free to skip... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 I think I see the bottom... 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 9- Oh shit giant fish!

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

PsiMe # 26

Falling through the atmosphere! I must admit this is a new one... I have just jumped from the moon down to earth and am now falling through the clouds. Because of course everyone knows there's gravity in space and things never burn up when  they hit the atmosphere. I bet I'll survive this fall as well... I should be happy physics doesn't work here but really it just annoys me... The clouds are passing by slowly... Wait clouds passing? I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be passing clouds... I should be passing through water in the atmosphere not fluffy white things? Shouldn't I? I just landed on a cloud... It feels like a marshmallow... There's a door here... Actually there are three doors here... No wait six... Wait twelve... The doors are multiplying is what I'm trying to say here... Now the doors are changing colour. Each one has a symbol on it. I don't recognize any of the symbols. A circle with an x in it... A weird almost jewish star. Like two triangles overlapping... A weird sign hard to describe it's like a winding line going through a diagonal straight line... The others are even weirder... I need to pick a door... Too many to eeny meeny miney mo this time... So I'm just going to spin and point and spi-Oh god I'm falling!

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

PsiMe # 25

It's cold here... Very cold... On a suddenly realized note! If I have been keeping track of the post date of the PsiMe properly this post should be releasing on my birthday. If so yay happy birthday to me if not well... January 19 is my birthday so um if that's not today wherever the people reading this are wish me a happy birthday on that day. Assuming I'm still alive. Geez it is freezing here. My footsteps look weird in the snow... they look bigger than they should... Like two people standing in each... Hmm I seem to have caught up to another pair of footsteps. They look just like mine. Wait... Have I been walking in my own footsteps... Yep that explains it... Kind of... Minus the fact that it makes no sense. I'm walking in my own footsteps at the same moment I'm making said footsteps... I'm walking on a mobius strip or something... Hmm what happens if I step to the side... Holy shit where am I?! Ok I'm on the moon now I think... Oh god there's no air! Got to be a way out! The planet! Just below me! JUMP!

Monday, 16 January 2012

PsiMe # 24

I just woke up today... I've never been awake before... It's a strange feeling... I feel so... Real? Is that a good word? I feel free. I'm in my bedroom. I never left my bedroom. There's no door. There never was a door. The window is shattered. The window has always been shattered. I am a god. I have always been a god. I'm dreaming. You're not dreaming Oh god my head! Uhn... What the hell? I'm in my room again? No demonic me this time though.  I can't remember anything since the desert. There's something on the wall... It says "She's dead" Woah the writing on the wall is writing itself as I watch. "She has always been dead. You never met her forget about her. Always move forward never look back. Your evaluation is waiting." Ok... I don't understand most of that but I do remember the word evaluation. This is a test right? I forgot that somehow. I need to pass this test for... Um someone... Strange I can't remember... Doors got to find a door! Or window... No Windows are bad I remember now I don't like windows... Door their has to be a door... There's no door There has never been a door Shut the hell up! Ok where was I? Oh right... I just remembered the last time I was here the room was upside down it's right side up now. Wait! There is a door! There is no door Not the bedroom door the closet door! Wow... It's like Narnia... My closet is a wintery forest... Take one step...

Sunday, 15 January 2012

PsiMe # 23

Welcome to the universe. My universe. I can see the entire world below me. Miniscule, small, More synonyms for little... Insignificant. I could reach out and crush it in my grasp. In fact I just might. The entire world is in my hands. I can feel them. All of the living things on this puny little planet. Tiny worthless creatures... The City is here as well and those shadow things and the creature with the claws... All of them at my mercy. Other creatures too... A faceless stranger with long arms, A boy who has lived forever alone, the voices written into sound, the mistress of the strings, the thing in the water, The smiling hate, The swarm, The darkness on the wind, The Disease bringer, The body jumper, The judge and executioner, The four legged seeker, The memory stealer, The mechanical monster, The gravedigger and her... I spare them because of her... I'm standing in an ocean... I'm confused... What happened? It's all a jumble... I don't know what was going on... I remember the world. I remember thoughts of anger and hatred... and power. Unbelievable power... Then all I remember is her and I'm here now... Alone and powerless again at the mercy of The City... There's a door with me on the water. I don't know what's going on anymore... I remember I'm supposed to go through the doors...

Saturday, 14 January 2012

PsiMe # 22

I'm falling again and I don't even care... It was her... Er... Me. She's still alive... Or this is some kind of time distortion thing and that was her before she died... Why did she push me though? I don't know this is all so confusing. Incoming ground! Wha? Something caught me inches from the ground... Seems like some kind of nigh invisible net... Like... a... web... Shit... Can't get free! Oh god I'm stuck in a spiderweb! Face down! I can't even look around! Oh god the web is shaking! Got to get free! HA! Ha ha! Ok my head is free... Not sure why I'm gloating... That's not really helpful just means I can see my death coming... Speaking of... What the hell! YOU ARE NOT A SPIDER!!! MERMAIDS DO NOT MAKE WEBS!! Or eat people... Well I guess they might in some stories but... Wait how is your tail even navigating the web!? This is too impossible... Even for here... This has no right to exist! and suddenly it doesn't... What the hell? Webs gone too... Wait shit... Ow! Fu... Wait that was more cartoony bullshit! I didn't fall until I realized I was falling what the hell is going on here?! Screw it it saved my life don't argue with the random acts of god. NGYAHH! Humble aren't we? Ahh what the hell?! Get out of my head! It's gone... What the hell did that mean? Oh look a door. I am so surprised and excited... I want out of here...

Friday, 13 January 2012

PsiMe # 21

ll... Ok I passed over a finishing line and now I'm in a desert... Which means... God damn it. That was set-up! They gave me the car just to destroy it! Bastards! Ok so desert... What do I do here? God damn this place is big... Very big... And hot... Very hot... There's something in the distance... It couldn't be a mirage could it? I've only been here an hour... Well you people out there couldn't tell that since the PsiMe doesn't give times between each comment... Well I have no better leads might as well check it out... Oh god... It wasn't a mirage... It's a graveyard... In the middle of a desert... Yeah... Oh um hello... There's someone digging graves here... I wish I could talk he doesn't seem to notice me... He's kind of creepy... Completely silent man digging in a desert graveyard wearing a gasmask. Yeah actually I think I'm going to leave now... Oh ha ha of course... There's an open grave here with my name on the stone. That's not cliche at all... I'm guessing I have to jump in to move on... Hey where'd the gas mask guy go... Someone's behind me... GAH It's her what? How? You're dead? Aren't you? Oh god she pushed me! No! Wait Come back! She's gone... I'm falling... Again...

Thursday, 12 January 2012

PsiMe # 20

On the road again... Ha ha! This is awesome! Cruising down some random city street! I hope I run into that claw guy. I want to ground him into a bloody smear beneath my wheel! Oh speak of the devil! Ramming speed Sulu! How do you like me now BITCH!! OH fuck! Uhn... Ow... Motherfucker! My car! You bastard you destroyed my car! Oh... Oh shit I think I made him angry! RUN FUCKING RUN! OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!!! Finishing line what the he-

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

PsiMe # 19

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN- OH GOD WINDOWS! GAH!! SO MUCH GLASS!!! WHY AM I NOT DEAD!? GAH! Ow... The City seems to love making me fall and making me crash through windows... So why was I surprised that they would combine the two... Ok I'm in a single shaft of light. The ground seems to be asphalt. I'm on a street with a single spotlight... Oh hey another light. It's... It's a supermarket! FOOD! BEAUTIFUL FOOD! Wait... This might make me sick again... Must resist... Temptation to strong... Oh fuck it Mmm apples... Mmm chocolate bars! MMM Reeses Cups! Oh hey soft drinks! Gingerale! I fucking love Gingerale! Wait I should stock up! There must be something I can use to carry this stuff... Let's see duffel bags, suitcases, school bags, anything? Oh... No way... No freaking way... I don't know why there's a car in a supermarket but there's a car in this supermarket wait! Does it have... YES IT HAS KEYS!!! I wish I had a pair of sunglasses right now... Oh fuck yes... Comfortable seats and adjustable! Let's do this!

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

PsiMe # 18

Ugh the hole is filled with... I think it's sap. It's all over my clothes and in my hair... Uh... Something just touched my hand... something cool... It's a fluid but doesn't feel like sap... Oh god there's more now... It's all over the ground... Oh wait... Ok that's because I'm back on the beach... On all fours in the water... You know I just now realized how thirsty I am... Hungry too... Trying to remember if any of the bodies in the pile looked like they died of dehydration or starvation... I don't think so which means there must be some food around and I guess the water could be drinkable. Taking a drink. HUAGH! Oh god... The water is not drinkable! BLARGH!! Oh god It feels like I'm vomiting up my lungs! Oh god did any of them die from vomiting up organs?! How would you tell!? GHLARGH! OH...Oh god! BLUAGH! Oh... I think it's over... Ugh that was disgusting and now I need a drink more than ever... Let's see how do I get out this time... Last few times heading towards the water did it. This time I'm in the water. Maybe heading towards the saNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-

Monday, 9 January 2012

PsiMe # 17

Gah bright light! Oh I'm back in the forest. Seems the shadow people are somehow blaming me for that. Er well I guess I was kind of responsible... But not me me. The other me... The hot sexy me... The hot sexy dead me... Give me a minute... Ok... I guess I should be annoyed that they're blaming me when I had nothing to do with it but I can't really feel that at the moment... I'm still too shocked... That was my first kiss... And now she's dead... And she was me from an alternate universe... I don't know what to think anymore... The other thought that comes to mind is I'm doomed... She said she'd been here alone for years... and that no one else had ever passed the test... which means I'm probably going to die here as well... You know it just occurred to me I mentioned earlier that I was the last one. How do I know that? Am I the last one? I feel that I am... No I know that I am... But why and how do I know this... I'm back in the forest again who cares... I should just lay down and let them kill me but I can't. I feel like I'd be letting all those other mes down. I need to pass the test or at least try my best. So, where's the exit? That tree has a large hole in it's trunk... I'm willing to bet that's actually the exit. Well might as well find out. Hear this now City. I'm going to pass this test and then I'm going to find some way to get back at you for what you've done to me. All the mes... Us? Whatever!

Sunday, 8 January 2012

PsiMe # 16

So apparently I was removed from existence for about 3 years how long has it been for all of you? Alright anyways I'm going to try my best to recount exactly what happened. So there I was running for my life- I mean fighting valiantly against the horrible demonic version of me when suddenly everything exploded into colours and then I was floating in nothingness with my demonic brother. I don't know how I know how long we were like that but I just know it was at least three years. Then I felt a tugging sensation and woke up in what looks like a lab. My demonic brother woke up here too but some automated ceiling mounted turrets took care of him.The laptop and PsiMe are here too I can't see them clearly but I can see words appearing so I'm assuming that it's writing out these thoughts right now. I'm strapped to a table. I can't move anything but my head. I am trying not to move too much anyways though as I'm pretty sure those turrets are motion activated. Wait I hear footsteps. OH MY GOD! It's her! The smoking hot me! Oh shit she can read this! Oh shit she is reading this! Um... Hi. She's smiling I hope that's a good thing. She says that it is a good thing. I can't speak... Actually come to think of it I don't think I've said a word since I got here... She says that's normal. I'm not sure how she knows this. She says it's part of the test. Everything I say is information they can't grade so they removed your ability to speak. I mean my ability to speak... Is there a better way we can talk? Ok she's now going to type in her responses directly so I don't have to keep recounting them. You're probably wondering where you are and how you got here. Well I don't know why you or I are here in the city The City Shush no one cares. I was the one who brought you to this room and saved your life though. See, you or more accurately us, everyone of us, was brought here for the test from what, I assume, is multiple dimensions. Each one of us goes through the test until we die or I guess pass. I'm pretty sure  no one has passed yet. Then the next one is brought in and it continues. The fact your here means that I'm undoubtedly going to die and have in fact died already in your normal timeline. But we aren't in your normal timeline. I brought you into mine so we can talk. I found this room and you would have too had your test continued normally. This room is supposed to be merely another trial but for me it was an opportunity. I am, well, was a quantum physicist in my own world and well you've already realized physics is kind of fucked up here. So  with the randomized laws here it wasn't hard to use this rooms technology to create well actually I'm not sure what to call it... a time machine I guess? Using your blog it was easy to pinpoint your location and the time you were currently at so I brought you here. Why? Loneliness mostly. I've been here for years now with no one else to speak to. It's been driving me mad. I wanted company. She's stopped typing. She's moving away from the computer towards me. She's staring at me... Oh my god I'm kissing myself! This is incredibly wrong! But oh damn does it feel right! What the fuck is that tapping sound? Oh god the door just broke open! It's the shadow guys! They destroyed the turrets! Run me! Run! Oh god no! It's the claw guy! No please no! she's dead... Stabbed her through the stomach. Oh God he's coming towards me! I don't want to die! He didn't kill me... He just severed the straps and left. Ahh my head! Not again! The test continues. This slight distraction will represent a single black mark on your final evaluation no more. You will be sent back now.  

PsiMe Connection re-established

Psionic connection found

Neural activity found

PsiMe rebooting

Welcome back to life

Username: Test subject # 33Alpha S9
Password: *********

Saturday, 7 January 2012

PsiMe Interruption. Link disconnected.

Psionic connection not found.

Neural activity has ceased.

Error: User is dead or otherwise dysfunctional.

PsiMe # 15

I take back every bad thing I ever said about windows. NO WAIT I TAKE THAT BACK! OW fucking hell! Glass everywhere! Rolling! Lying on my back... Safe... Oh shit not safe! It followed me! What the hell is it!? Running! I'm in a forest! Gotta keep running! Ignore everything else focus your thoughts on running! Where is it?! Right in front of me! Dive into the bushes! Keep running! I'm going to die... What the fuck is that!! ...

Friday, 6 January 2012

PsiMe # 14

Gah my head! Memories flooding my brain! Every one of those bodies all were real... alive! They died here... I'm the last one... Oh god. I think I'm having an existential crisis... Where did all these other mes come from? How did they all get here? More importantly how did they die? Also with the time distortion effects could I potentially run into one of them before they died and possibly save them or is that set already? Gah so many questions... Damn this place... Damn this test... Damn those shadow guys and that claw thing even more! I hate it here... I should probably find out where I am now. It looks like my bedroom. Except upside down. Oh hey I'm in the bed! Wait how? I'm on the ceiling and on the bed. It's not an alternate version of me either. At least I don't think it is. I'm pretty sure that's really me. Oh shit it's er I'm waking up! OH GOD ITS EYES! That is not me! Bedroom door where are you? I need to get the fuck out of here! Gah fuck!! Ahh that hurt got to stay away from him... there has to be a way out! No door! No door!! No door!!! WINDOW!!!!

Thursday, 5 January 2012

PsiMe # 13

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES! Hey I landed on something soft. My luck is changing. Ah... ha... ha... It's a body... A pile of bodies... More accurately my bodies... At various ages and of various ethnicities and genders... I'm not going to freak out... I am not going to freak out... I AM NOT GOING TO FREAK OUT! I am so totally going to freak out... Gah haf ntianaf jlaljgf oasg- Oh hey! That African American female version of me over there is smoking... Even if she is dead and has a gaping hole in her stomach... Wait shit everyone out there will see that! I am not a necrophiliac! Especially not with my own alternate gender self! There covered... Now how do I get out of here? Woah the ground just shook... Correction the mountain of bodies just shook... I should probably get off... Actually I probably should have gotten off a while ago. Ok I'm off and the pile is definitely rumbling... I'm scared... OH GOD!! That's... Oh god not the sexy me! Why?... All those mes... They just... They just got crushed into a singularity... Complete with bone crunching sound effects... That's going to haunt my nightmares for years. The singularity is creating a portal... Ha ha... No. Fuck you. I'm not going into a portal created by the crushed bodies of myself. Screw this test I'm not doing that! No screw you shadow thing I'm not doing that. Kill me I don't care I'm not doing that. Oh that thing has sharp claws... AHH! Ok fuck I'm going just back the fuck off! Running into the portal of myself now

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

PsiMe # 12

I'm on the beach again. I think... Oh look my breath buddy is still here. Great... I don't think I've been so terrified of one of my own natural by products since I was a baby. Ok this isn't the same beach... Except it is... I'm on the opposite side of the beach... I can see myself over there on the sand. Which makes no sense... Time distortion? Who gives a crap anymore... Ok so how to get out of here? Is it getting warmer? AGHFAHFGAHGHAJGG AKDAGKAG The sun is falling towards me! Quick the water! Cartoon physics don't fail me! Wait I remember how this GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

PsiMe # 11

Copying what you see in cartoons doesn't work unless physics have flipped the fuck out. So I'm swimming up a waterfall today. Now I'm in a cave. Not sure how I'm in a cave but I'm in a cave. It's pretty the walls are filled with gems. I'd take some out of the wall but they'd probably explode or turn out to be monster eggs. The only way to go is further into the cave. The cave is really really cold... Like I can see my breath cold... It's also full of icicles. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a few seconds ago but at this point I don't even care anymore. Hmm remember what I said about being able to see my breath? Yeah it seems to be following me in a vaguely humanoid shape... and talking. I can't hear what it's saying but it's creeping me out. Oh hey there's a light at the end of the tunnel! Oh god did I really just say that? Oh well it's probably an exit!

Monday, 2 January 2012

PsiMe # 10

Ow... I think my nose is bleeding... Gah no time for that shadows still coming through the door through the door andholyshitwhatthefuckisthatthing! Dragons do not exist. Just remember that! Dragons do not exist and they definitely don't go fishing. Especially not with fishing poles. Did it just pull a pizza out of the water? That is awesome! Wait wouldn't it be all wet and soggy and stuff? Why am I even thinking about this? Where's the exit? There is no exit... Just endless grassy fields, a dragon with a fishing rod and hat and the pizza fish pond. The sky seems to be made out of glass and in fact I can see some cracks in it. Wait I think the dragon noticed me... SHIT SHIT SHIT it did! Oh god I'm on fire! Ahh refreshing... Nice pizza fish pond... Nice pizza fish pond that's suddenly a river... Oh and of course there's a waterfall why wouldn't there be a waterfall?

Sunday, 1 January 2012

PsiMe # 9

Oh god floor opening up! Falling! Oh how I missed the feeling of falling to my death. I wonder how sarcasm translates through the PsiMe thi- Woah lurching feeling not fun! O.K. nauseous now and lying flat on my back on the side of the pit I was falling down. I guess it's a tunnel now... Give me a few seconds to breathe then I'll be on my way... This tunnel is long. Wait why am I heading this direction? I could head back up I bet they won't be expecting tha- Oh god they were expecting that! More shadowy things a whole herd of them! Running away now! Wait herd is that right? Herd of shadowy things? Is there a proper term for a group of shadowy things? If there isn't do I get to come up with one? If so I think they should be called a Shade. A shade of shadowy things! Hmm if I die here that could potentially be my only contribution to the world. Portnoy Augustus the guy who came up with the name for a group of shadowy things... Why the hell am I thinking about this when I should be focused on running for my life!? Sudden door!